I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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