Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
