We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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