it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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