i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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