the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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