the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
