If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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