I am in a vortex of obligation.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
