I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
