It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
