butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
