Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
