i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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