i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
