We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
