the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
