oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm always down for nudity.
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