Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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