Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize