Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
