ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
