Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i may or may not be watching the land before time
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
