Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My cat gives me a boner
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
