What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
They left me at home... I'm a liability
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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