I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
