Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
