To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
