He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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