Got a toothbrush?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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