It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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