Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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