im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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