Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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