Your dad touched me again.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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