Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
