Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
