is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize