You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
