He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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