You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
