I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
