I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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