So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
