you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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