I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
