Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
