I'm gonna have a badass scar
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
