his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
