Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
