We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
