Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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