so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
