Dude my mom stole all your condoms
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
