My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
