Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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