if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
