she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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