There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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