So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
