After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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