Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
