he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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